You may have been off the market for quite some time and looking to get back on the dating scene. Well be prepared because its a whole new world. There are some new trends you need to be aware of to increase your chances of being successful at modern dating.
The world is changing faster than we can catch up. For this reason you'll find it harder staying afloat in a sea of fierce competition of women, rather sharks out for blood. The growing expansion of technology has led to an over stimulation of our senses which makes it harder to attract and keep the attention of someone. While some may appreciate the old fashioned way of dating, in today's world the majority is caught up with growing trends for dating and love relationships. No matter your age, if you are not on top of your game, you will be left behind.
Here are 12 tips to help you maximize dating in the modern world.
1. Face-to-Face versus Virtual Contact
Nothing beats being in front of someone you're dating while enjoying a conversation and looking into each other's eyes right? Well in today's world more emphasis is placed on virtual exchanges in communication.
As you venture out onto the new landscape you must equip yourself with the necessary tools that are relevant to the way things are. If you were living under a rock while you took a break from dating, you better hurry up and plug in.
Men are visual creatures that favor looks even more than we do as women. To survive in today's dating world you must be on top of trends that rely heavily on virtual communication. You must be able to communicate not just by audio but video. This means you will have to "face time" a lot.
If you're the scruffy type that only dolls up when going out. this will have to change. In the modern day world of dating virtual communication is the new currency. Always stand ready to showcase yourself online, with the men you are dating. While this process can be managed you should not be unwilling to participate. Instead you can take advantage of the chance to show more of your personality and get to know each other better as virtual communication like face to face provides an opportunity to read his body language as well. Video calls are therefore a useful tool for observing subtleties you would have missed during a voice call. Be on the look out however for men who only want to video call. A man who is forceful with his lustful nature will reveal his true intentions more quickly in the virtual space.
Since 'face time' is inevitable when dating in the modern world you must must be prepared. You don't always have to wear makeup but always ensure that your look is presentable when engaging in video calls. Be mindful of your background and your attire. Try to not be too lazy in selecting your outfits. Its ok be to a little flirtatious. Always ensure that your virtual communication is engaging and also entertaining when dating. This helps to create memorable moments as your interactions progress.
2. Shorthand Writing
If you're a dinosaur to modern day communication language, go do the necessary research ASAP. Modern dating thrives in the land of abbreviations. People no longer waste time expressing themselves in lengthy paragraphs. Given the fast pace of the modern world, everyone is trying to get their message across in the shortest time possible. This has led an evolution of SMS where fewer words are used to make whole statements. The younger the demographic you are dating, the shorter the phrases will be, so be mindful.
Don't get caught not knowing the common shorthand codes for texting especially those commonly used when dating. Start with the basics like LOL, DWL, IKR and BRB. If you don't know these, its sadder than I thought. To survive in the world of modern dating, Google has to be your best friend. Forget the dusty Oxford Dictionary in the back of your closet. All you need to make it, fits in the palm of your hand and hopefully has a touch screen.
If you're dating a guy who only uses shorthand when texting, he could be a child. Grown men know how to communicate properly and while we may all use shorthand, a mature man will try as best as possible to ensure that his communication is clear. You must also resist the urge to use too much shorthand texting in your virtual communication. If your extensive use of jargons and trending lingo is your way of trying to impress the man you are dating, give it up. I'm sure you won't be losing brownie points for how many abbreviations you can use in a sentence.
If you're an older woman dating a younger man, you will run the risk of being caught up in the use of these jargons. He will eventually use a phrase you cannot interpret and this will remind him of your age and not in a good way.
While you must learn as you go along in the land of modern dating, don't waste time trying to learn it all. If you're uncomfortable texting for fear of miscommunication, stick with voice and video calls until you have a better understanding of your partner's communication style. The main point is, be aware of the common forms of shorthand messaging and be able to respond correctly when they are used.
3. Image Is Everything
As shallow as it may sound, image is everything. You will not always look your best but when dating always try to put your best foot forward. Wear clothes that flatter your body type and always have a pleasant countenance especially when engaging the person you are dating. Your presence online or face to face should always feel like a breath of fresh air.
The image you present is part of how you market yourself on the dating scene. The competition is fierce so it is in your best interest to find ways to stand out but not too much. Even on your scruffy days you can manage to look cute. Always be mindful of your countenance when you're communicating. Your body language and your tone matters. Present yourself as the full package based not only on looks but who you are as a person. Your authentic self is a part of your image. Let him see why you are a great catch and someone he should not risk losing.
4. Less is More
When dating you might be tempted to tell your entire life story. Resist that urge. While it is important to get to know someone, it is also key to ensure that an element of mystery remains. If a man knows everything about you in the first few days of meeting you, then you would have been a script that has been read, a movie he has already seen. There must be an element of surprise something unexpected about you that he will find out later.
You want to keep him intrigued about who you are and what you have to offer and this information is provided over time. I understand that you may not want to drag out the dating process but less is always more. Even in what you decide to share, be minimal in your descriptions as much as possible when things are fairly new. The same goes for what you ask of him. Allow him to share what he wants to share. Yes you can ask questions but don't be overbearing. Be observant, be a keen listener and absorb information that is shared. Do not interrogate him. He is not on trial, well technically he is, but not the other kind. The experience of learning new things about each other over time helps solidify a foundation you can build a relationship on.
5. Be Aware of Growing Trends
In the world of modern dating, there is a lot going on, all at once. Stay attuned to growing trends especially those concerning love and relationships. Find the time to conduct the necessary research to see to what the new culture is. Even if you don't agree with the culture you must be aware of it. This will help you to navigate the dating landscape especially in a digital environment. Knowing what's trending for dating on popular social media platforms and also local culture, will allow you to be better able to interpret the various communication styles of the people you are dating.
Some trends can directly affect the growth or failure of a budding relationship. For this reason you must pay attention to whatever is trending and how your partner responds to it. The trends will come and go and you're able to isolate people that are attached to trends you do not like.
On the other hand you must get over your fear of participating in some of these trends. If it's a new dance move or some fashion trend that the person you are dating is interested in you must be willing to give a try and play along. If you're in a situation however where you are being forced to participate in every and any type of trend, go ahead and cut them loose if they refuse to drop it.
6. Be Adventurous
Modern dating can be brutal but there is a little or no room for you to live inside a tiny box. If you are an introvert you will have to expand yourself and be more adventurous. Technology has made so many things more accessible and the global exposure allows us allows to increase our awareness of new cultures and activities to explore.
Unless you meet a man that is as closed off as you are, chances are you will be dating someone a little more adventurous. This means you must be willing to go out and try new things, even if it's outside of your comfort zone.
Being adventurous when dating can be very rewarding. You get to learn more about the person you're dating and you also get to see another side of yourself. The more adventurous you are, the more you will learn and this new information can help as you move through to dating other people. If the man you are dating asks you to try something new and it does not cross your moral boundaries, go ahead and put yourself out there. Don't be the stuck up worrier that kills the joy.
People engaged in modern dating are seeking a thrill and you must be able to provide it if you are to be successful at securing a mate. Being adventurous will also help your relationship in the future as you will kick boredom out the door and explore new things together.
7. Set Boundaries
In the land of modern dating you must at the beginning, set boundaries with the people you are dating. The men you are dating will test those boundaries so you must be firm in what you want or don't want to happen. Do not succumb to the pressure of giving in especially when it comes to sex.
Modern dating is a process that must be developed by both parties, where you have a say in what you will or will not all