You may have been off the market for quite some time and looking to get back on the dating scene. Well be prepared because its a whole new world. There are some new trends you need to be aware of to increase your chances of being successful at modern dating.
The world is changing faster than we can catch up. For this reason you'll find it harder staying afloat in a sea of fierce competition of women, rather sharks out for blood. The growing expansion of technology has led to an over stimulation of our senses which makes it harder to attract and keep the attention of someone. While some may appreciate the old fashioned way of dating, in today's world the majority is caught up with growing trends for dating and love relationships. No matter your age, if you are not on top of your game, you will be left behind.
Here are 12 tips to help you maximize dating in the modern world.
1. Face-to-Face versus Virtual Contact
Nothing beats being in front of someone you're dating while enjoying a conversation and looking into each other's eyes right? Well in today's world more emphasis is placed on virtual exchanges in communication.
As you venture out onto the new landscape you must equip yourself with the necessary tools that are relevant to the way things are. If you were living under a rock while you took a break from dating, you better hurry up and plug in.
Men are visual creatures that favor looks even more than we do as women. To survive in today's dating world you must be on top of trends that rely heavily on virtual communication. You must be able to communicate not just by audio but video. This means you will have to "face time" a lot.
If you're the scruffy type that only dolls up when going out. this will have to change. In the modern day world of dating virtual communication is the new currency. Always stand ready to showcase yourself online, with the men you are dating. While this process can be managed you should not be unwilling to participate. Instead you can take advantage of the chance to show more of your personality and get to know each other better as virtual communication like face to face provides an opportunity to read his body language as well. Video calls are therefore a useful tool for observing subtleties you would have missed during a voice call. Be on the look out however for men who only want to video call. A man who is forceful with his lustful nature will reveal his true intentions more quickly in the virtual space.
Since 'face time' is inevitable when dating in the modern world you must must be prepared. You don't always have to wear makeup but always ensure that your look is presentable when engaging in video calls. Be mindful of your background and your attire. Try to not be too lazy in selecting your outfits. Its ok be to a little flirtatious. Always ensure that your virtual communication is engaging and also entertaining when dating. This helps to create memorable moments as your interactions progress.
2. Shorthand Writing
If you're a dinosaur to modern day communication language, go do the necessary research ASAP. Modern dating thrives in the land of abbreviations. People no longer waste time expressing themselves in lengthy paragraphs. Given the fast pace of the modern world, everyone is trying to get their message across in the shortest time possible. This has led an evolution of SMS where fewer words are used to make whole statements. The younger the demographic you are dating, the shorter the phrases will be, so be mindful.
Don't get caught not knowing the common shorthand codes for texting especially those commonly used when dating. Start with the basics like LOL, DWL, IKR and BRB. If you don't know these, its sadder than I thought. To survive in the world of modern dating, Google has to be your best friend. Forget the dusty Oxford Dictionary in the back of your closet. All you need to make it, fits in the palm of your hand and hopefully has a touch screen.
If you're dating a guy who only uses shorthand when texting, he could be a child. Grown men know how to communicate properly and while we may all use shorthand, a mature man will try as best as possible to ensure that his communication is clear. You must also resist the urge to use too much shorthand texting in your virtual communication. If your extensive use of jargons and trending lingo is your way of trying to impress the man you are dating, give it up. I'm sure you won't be losing brownie points for how many abbreviations you can use in a sentence.
If you're an older woman dating a younger man, you will run the risk of being caught up in the use of these jargons. He will eventually use a phrase you cannot interpret and this will remind him of your age and not in a good way.
While you must learn as you go along in the land of modern dating, don't waste time trying to learn it all. If you're uncomfortable texting for fear of miscommunication, stick with voice and video calls until you have a better understanding of your partner's communication style. The main point is, be aware of the common forms of shorthand messaging and be able to respond correctly when they are used.
3. Image Is Everything
As shallow as it may sound, image is everything. You will not always look your best but when dating always try to put your best foot forward. Wear clothes that flatter your body type and always have a pleasant countenance especially when engaging the person you are dating. Your presence online or face to face should always feel like a breath of fresh air.
The image you present is part of how you market yourself on the dating scene. The competition is fierce so it is in your best interest to find ways to stand out but not too much. Even on your scruffy days you can manage to look cute. Always be mindful of your countenance when you're communicating. Your body language and your tone matters. Present yourself as the full package based not only on looks but who you are as a person. Your authentic self is a part of your image. Let him see why you are a great catch and someone he should not risk losing.
4. Less is More
When dating you might be tempted to tell your entire life story. Resist that urge. While it is important to get to know someone, it is also key to ensure that an element of mystery remains. If a man knows everything about you in the first few days of meeting you, then you would have been a script that has been read, a movie he has already seen. There must be an element of surprise something unexpected about you that he will find out later.
You want to keep him intrigued about who you are and what you have to offer and this information is provided over time. I understand that you may not want to drag out the dating process but less is always more. Even in what you decide to share, be minimal in your descriptions as much as possible when things are fairly new. The same goes for what you ask of him. Allow him to share what he wants to share. Yes you can ask questions but don't be overbearing. Be observant, be a keen listener and absorb information that is shared. Do not interrogate him. He is not on trial, well technically he is, but not the other kind. The experience of learning new things about each other over time helps solidify a foundation you can build a relationship on.
5. Be Aware of Growing Trends
In the world of modern dating, there is a lot going on, all at once. Stay attuned to growing trends especially those concerning love and relationships. Find the time to conduct the necessary research to see to what the new culture is. Even if you don't agree with the culture you must be aware of it. This will help you to navigate the dating landscape especially in a digital environment. Knowing what's trending for dating on popular social media platforms and also local culture, will allow you to be better able to interpret the various communication styles of the people you are dating.
Some trends can directly affect the growth or failure of a budding relationship. For this reason you must pay attention to whatever is trending and how your partner responds to it. The trends will come and go and you're able to isolate people that are attached to trends you do not like.
On the other hand you must get over your fear of participating in some of these trends. If it's a new dance move or some fashion trend that the person you are dating is interested in you must be willing to give a try and play along. If you're in a situation however where you are being forced to participate in every and any type of trend, go ahead and cut them loose if they refuse to drop it.
6. Be Adventurous
Modern dating can be brutal but there is a little or no room for you to live inside a tiny box. If you are an introvert you will have to expand yourself and be more adventurous. Technology has made so many things more accessible and the global exposure allows us allows to increase our awareness of new cultures and activities to explore.
Unless you meet a man that is as closed off as you are, chances are you will be dating someone a little more adventurous. This means you must be willing to go out and try new things, even if it's outside of your comfort zone.
Being adventurous when dating can be very rewarding. You get to learn more about the person you're dating and you also get to see another side of yourself. The more adventurous you are, the more you will learn and this new information can help as you move through to dating other people. If the man you are dating asks you to try something new and it does not cross your moral boundaries, go ahead and put yourself out there. Don't be the stuck up worrier that kills the joy.
People engaged in modern dating are seeking a thrill and you must be able to provide it if you are to be successful at securing a mate. Being adventurous will also help your relationship in the future as you will kick boredom out the door and explore new things together.
7. Set Boundaries
In the land of modern dating you must at the beginning, set boundaries with the people you are dating. The men you are dating will test those boundaries so you must be firm in what you want or don't want to happen. Do not succumb to the pressure of giving in especially when it comes to sex.
Modern dating is a process that must be developed by both parties, where you have a say in what you will or will not allow. You don't have to dish out your laundry list of boundaries at the beginning but reveal those boundaries to the person you're dating, as you move through the different stages.
8. Maintain Social Media Presence
Like a job application where employers will scout the internet to find more information about you; modern dating is all about having an online presence. Prospective dates must be able to find you online. They will be searching social media platforms to see photos of you and on gain insight into your life. It is therefore important to maintain a social media presence but you are in control of what you choose to share.
If you're actively dating it is best to keep your social media platforms current by posting regularly to show that you do have a life. You can showcase things you like to do so a secret admirer can decide whether they want to meet you or not. If you are already dating someone, maintaining a good social media presence will help to keep them engaged and interested. Social media is a common tool they will use to try and know you better. More importantly a good and active social media presence widens the net for you to catch more men that share similar interests.
Increase your exposure on the modern dating scene which exists primarily in a digital space. Your use of social media makes you more accessible and increases the number of people you will be able to meet. Gone are the days where you just sit by the bar and wait to be seen by someone. There is a wide variety of platforms to choose from but select the ones that best suit you and your personality. Also try to put yourself on platforms that will give you greater visibility as you continue on your dating path.
As the single and beautiful woman you are, the number of DMs you receive can become overwhelming. You can decide for yourself which ones you will to respond to but remember, if you're showcasing yourself online chances are, DMs will be the most common form of communication you receive, as the person does not have your number. So you must be willing to respond to men that slide in your DM. I'm sure you're a good judge of character so be sure to weed out the ones that need not apply.
9. Be Yourself
No matter what era we are living in nothing beats being your authentic self. This makes it easier for you to navigate the different stages of modern dating because you will not be caught up with the pretense. While it might be hard to spot a fake a mile off, it will be harder on you if you're the one being fake.
Everyone likes a genuine person but not everyone will like what you represent. By being yourself you will attract men who like you for who you really are. Don't waste your time trying to measure up to what someone expects you to be. While it is good to better yourself, it is best to be yourself. Do not date men that cause you to live in a fake persona rather than being yourself. This will become problematic as you slowly shed the façade and reveal your true self. You don't want to be head over heels in love with someone that will not love you back because of who you are. Stay true to yourself and if the person you're dating does not like that, move on to the next.
10. Be Bold
Modern dating is all about confidence. Even if you are a shy person you must display some level of boldness to survive. Everything is about putting yourself out there to be seen. The days of random boy meets girl still exist but more so online. People are too engaged with their phones when out in public to entertain a regular meet and greet and if they do, they will want ask for your socials. The dating world is changing, so you must adapt.
If you're on the dating scene but you're not getting anywhere because no one is making a move; you might have to be brave and ask someone out. It's not like you're asking for their hand in marriage. If you see a man that you like online or face to face, put yourself out there and ask them out casually. Avoid being forceful in your mannerisms. This person could be a friend or a stranger that you like and want to see where things could go. Be bold and ask him out.
One easy way of doing this is saying "Hey would you like to get some drinks sometime, I would love to catch up." He may not realize in the moment, that you are hitting on him and might agree to go out with you.
When you are out on what you can call a date, you will then make your intentions clear without being overbearing. Keep things light and watch to see if he takes over the reins in pursuing you. If after the initial attempt you are the one still pursuing him and there is no reciprocation of your actions, give up on the loser. You are the prize and modern dating is all about demonstrating that value, so don't be caught up with chasing men.
11. Keep Jealousy at Bay
In these times you have to have thick skin when dating. The reality is that the person you're dating might be dating other people. Some men will fess up to it and others might hide that fact.
Being a jealous woman for a man that you are casually dating is crazy. Unless you are in a relationship there is no full commitment on either part. If he's one to tell you that he's dating other people, deal with it and be thankful he's honest about it. If you find out on your own, don't get into a jealous rage. Confront him about it and see what his true intentions are.
If his actions offend you to the point of no return kiss him goodbye, maybe not a real kiss but you get my point. Jealousy on all fronts is never a good thing but there is definitely no place for it when you're casually dating someone. Unless you are in a full blown relationship, keep your jealousy at bay.
12. Move On Quickly
Modern dating is like playing a game of musical chairs. Gone are the days where men lay in waiting for many years to receive the hand of the woman he loves. While this may still happen in some cultures, it is no longer the norm. People are making decisions quickly as whether they want to be with someone or not. The dating process has become fast paced to help you make that decision in a shorter time frame.
Don't get caught in a situation where the man you are dating has already moved on to the next and you are left thinking there is hope. If you receive signs that a man is no longer interested, get to the bottom of it and if you can't, just get out.
I've always said you must date more than one person. You don't have enough lifetimes to be dating men one by one. Dating more than one at a time makes it easier for you to drop dead weight as you go along. If one or more of the men are displaying things you do not want in a relationship quickly let the situation go. In some cases you don't even need a reason. Don't waste time explaining things if you don't have to.
Modern dating is evolving fast so it will not be easy to stay on top of all the growing trends out there. Pay attention to the things that will directly affect the way you date other people. Exercise some flexibility as you navigate the dating process. Allow yourself to experience numerous dating scenarios. This will help you master the art of dating. Be open minded as you may learn new things about yourself that will enrich your dating experience.