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6 Super Annoying Things People Do in Public

If you're like me there are some things that people do in public that get under your skin!

Unless you are a Neanderthal or someone from another dimension, there is no real reason to be told how to behave in public places right? WRONG.

In writing this post, I found myself with a collection of nuisances that I've repeatedly observed, some of which I may even be guilty of but c'mon! These things are straight up annoying and its like an epidemic of stuff that some of us spontaneously act out. I have pet peeves on the following so here's some friendly advice on how to do better especially when I'm around.

@ the movies

Quit crunching them nachos during the 'silent scenes'. Here we are clinging to the edge of our seats during a suspenseful scene, holding our breath (except you), wondering if we will even live to tell what happens next. The suspense is so thick that even the creepy background music goes off and we are left in deafening silence.

Then comes that loud CRUNCH towards the back of my right ear. Yes its always some jerk sitting behind you and to the left or right of you too which is even worse. You just had to eat that chip in THIS moment huh? Not when the cars sped, or the when guns blazed busting our eardrums, but right now in the still of the moment. Every time this happens I wonder if I'm the only one fuming.

At the movies you will hear the typical outbursts to some scenes but there is never anyone to shout "Hey quit with all that crunching!". What bugs me the most about it, is that I am literally startled by the sound as it breaks the silence. Anything could have happened in that scene to give me a minor heart attack but nah it had to be your mouth chowing down on some chips.

That annoying crunch always make me reflect on how pathetic I am to pay to be locked in a black box, watching a movie with strangers. Some experience. Yet, this is how filmmakers get their cut.

I have to sit here and endure the smelly popcorn (is it me or does popcorn smell like farts when you are not the one eating it?); the ripping of annoying wrappers and that 'get under my skin and on top of my nerves crunching of nacho chips' and don't get me started on those nasty slurps when you refuse to accept that the drink is finished, UGH.

So next time, if you have any morsel of dignity left, do resist the urge to stuff your face the moment time stands still in a suspenseful 'silent' scene and allow the rest of us to hear that pin drop. Watching a movie with strangers is bad enough. Can I get my money's worth please or are you too hungry to care?

@ the supermarket

Quit asking me for a cut in the line. So what you only got one item? Its not my fault you committed to making your little purchase even though you saw how choke full the cashier lines were when you entered.

Here I am balancing a baby on the hip, rummaging through my tote for my purse, while kneeing my crammed cart forward in this snail pace of a line. Now I am confronted with morality issues as I will not only look mean for shunning you, but also a bad mother who doesn't deserve to raise a man in this society if I tell you no.

The burden is always on us, the ones carrying the load, literally. I don't hear anyone saying "Hey ma'am you look tired, come cash out before I do".

Ma'am would be right with my tired looking ass. So much for preaching how I am forever 21 when I deliberately leave the house in my 'IDGAF dress' and expect to be seen as some hottie.

Who goes to the supermarket for a handful of items anyway? That's like going inside the bank to join that snake of a line to withdraw a few dollars instead of using an ATM.

My cart is always full. People even cringe at the thought of joining my line. Some even leave their carts in line while they physically stand in another line they believe will move faster. So imagine how deflated I must feel when you come with your silly grin begging for a cut. Do you not ever notice the rolling of my eyes and the audible sigh of disgust while I say yes with my teeth closed?

Whenever you hear me say "sure no prob" I am actually seething and my eyes burn from the scourging of boiling blood. I would have much rather you said, "hey, you dropped a 100".

After spending way too long in this place I now have to give up precious minutes to accommodate you who just waltzed in for a pack of tampons. Didn't you care for a snicker or some gum as well? I guess you are a woman who just knows what she wants and is not easily tempted by the shelves of goodies shielding the cashier's face. Who falls for that anyway right?

Every yes is a lie you hear me! Why would I want to be cut in line when I finally made it to the front? Why not ask me, when I was further behind. That would've been more tolerable and rather considerate of you even; seeing you've barely spent a minute in here. Also I'm the big spender here, why should you get the perks of leaving early?

Doctor's Cave Beach, Jamaica

@ the beach

Quit showing off body parts that should only be seen with the lights off. I'm no drop dead gorgeous beach bod but I do wear flattering attire to accentuate my best features seeing we are all just sporting undies we call swimwear.

Why am I able to tell you that you haven't shaved since the Stone Age? Mark you, I've been guilty of sporting a little untimely 'bush' every now and then in some spontaneous moments but its never a 'planned' thing. Why would you deliberately set out on your journey to the beach without doing the 'home test' first?

I always try on at least five bikinis when heading to any place that has a beach or pool. Each pair must coordinate well and cover the right body parts. I even consider the intensity of any beach activity to determine which suit is best. So imagine my horror after doing all that work to be "appropriate" to then have my eyes assaulted and my memory etched with your indecent exposure.

No one is perfect and our little imperfections help add character. Well that 'add character' part is better suited for a house flip on HGTV. I honestly don't believe my 'flaws' add any character. They might be adding a little creativity as I devise new ways of hiding them.

Its understandable that a beach is littered with a few sour balls among the eye candies so I can forgive a man or woman who clearly showed some effort in appropriating their attire but failed; but for those who shamelessly flaunt those unsightly parts I am going extreme on this one.

Why is one of your labia on display? Do you not feel the hint of salty breeze against your 'va jay jay'? Are you unaware that your butt has eaten one side of your swimsuit?

Hey mister, do you not feel the sand coating that one lazy sac that is sunbathing below the length of your swim trunks?

Hey you! Quit flexing your beer belly and spitting your shitty pick up lines. You're blocking my sun.

Listen ladies and gents, while we are all guilty of a little wardrobe malfunction at beach, let us be mindful to not disrupt the ocean view.

@ the gym

Quit hogging the machines. Now where do I start? My memory is a little fuzzy. If gyms still operate the way they did when I used to go, then this annoyance is still at large.

Apparently there is an unwritten rule somewhere that when you use a machine more than once, its yours every time you show up at the gym. Kind of like that office parking space without your name on it and the offense taken if you drive in to find Debbie all up in your spot. It takes months, even years to claim an unmarked parking spot as your own but I doubt the same applies at the gym.

A gym is a mass of sweaty stinky bodies constantly in motion to sculpt an ideal frame that can be put on display for 'likes'. For this reason the ratio of bodies to machines is unequal. The short supply results in the general rule of first come first serve but there are some that believe otherwise.

So why do I need to use the machine next to this one? Are you the owner sir? Did you bring your personal stair climber to the gym just for keeps? Is the gym owner your daddy?

There is a type of specie (wow is my spell check on? That word looks really weird in singular form, should I just add the s?) that believes their gym membership buys them exclusive rights to any machine of their choice and said machine can be programmed to their BMI and personal preferences and must be left